Willing
by Kace-sama
Summary: Title says it all. A 'What-if' lemon request for my story "Fault in Our Stars."


**Request for Guest321**

**Fair Warning:** For those of you who haven't read my other fic _Fault in Our Stars_, this Misaki probably won't be to your liking. He's OOC. If you don't give a damn, by all means, read on.

**Disclaimer:** I own the title, the plot, and my dirty mind… that's not a lot to own.

**P.S.** God bless my Beta: Monymoon98. It was _so _awkward sending this to her, so you can imagine how awkward she must've felt when she edited it… XD

...

**Willing**

I was sitting upside down on the bright couch, hugging Suzuki while listening to the new iPod Usagi-san had bought me. It was purple, my favorite color, and it was loaded with songs, all of which I'd never heard before. I thought I was going to hate everything Usagi-san had picked out, since I'd never actually seen him listening to music before, but after hearing things like L'arc-en-Ciel, Gackt, Alice Nine, and T.M. Revolution for the past few hours, I can honestly say that I'd become a fast fan…

Go fucking figure.

When the shadow of a familiar man towered over me, I smirked and pulled one of my ear buds out. "You look tired, old man," I said in my usual nonchalant voice. "All finished?"

Usagi-san grunted and took a sip of his coffee. "I am," he assured me once he'd brought the cup away from his lips. He had bags under his eyes and he stifled a yawn as he ignored his cell phone vibrating. I didn't blame him. After all, the poor man _had_ been working non-stop last night.

Sometimes I wished he wasn't an author—then we could spend more time together. But his job was what paid the bills, and I was currently freeloading…

Sometimes I wished I wasn't such a burden to him.

While I pondered this, he scrutinized my choice of wardrobe, holding his steaming cup in his hand. I was dressed in a long-sleeve, green t-shirt, dark jeans, and a pair of socks. He was dressed the same, except his shirt and socks were black. It was unusual for him, since he usually wore a tie around the house, but I liked his relaxed look.

He should definitely dress like that more often.

"You look hotter than usual," I blurted out.

He chuckled and shook his head. "Don't start," he chided. He knew perfectly well I was a tease.

As he took another sip of coffee, his eyes became fixed on a certain spot on my body. Insecurity hit me like me a ton of bricks, and I hoped that I didn't have anything embarrassing on my clothes, even if he'd think it was _cute_.

Screw cute. I hated the word, and every time he used it. Suzuki is something that he should call cute. He should call me fuckable.

Excuse my language.

When I pressed my lips together and gave him my usual guarded gaze, I followed the area of my body that he'd locked eyes on.

I hadn't realized that my shirt had risen up my torso, since I was sitting upside down. The fact that he looked so entranced at that particular spot made me blush.

I wanted nothing more than to cover my face with Suzuki, but thought better of it. I was _not_ about to break my stoic façade just because this man made me think all these unnecessary, sexual thoughts.

The way he looked, it was as if he wanted to devour me, and since I'm being honest here, it's safe to say that if he asked, I'd let him—hell, I'd _beg_ him.

That look alone was enough to make me feel hot and bothered, and I hoped it couldn't be seen in my pants. That'd be _so_ embarrassing.

When I tried to fix my shirt, he bent over and touched my hand, halting it. "Don't," he said softly. "It's fine."

It wasn't.

I don't think he realized how close his pants zipper was to my head at this point, which made me redden further. Or maybe he realized, but he didn't care. The latter sounded about right.

His soft, large hand trailed across my stomach, and he made an appreciative grunt. "You've been hiding these from me," he stated, tracing his fingers over my new abs. He tilted his head and gave me an amused look. "Why is that, Misaki?"

I was too distracted by his hands caressing my abdomen to answer. I mean, if Usagi-san just started touching you, I'm sure you'd forgot to do a few things too, right? It's okay. You don't have to tell me. I know how you feel.

"Misaki," he called in that velvet voice that I loved. His hand never stopped touching me. "What are you thinking about?"

I started to answer, but abruptly closed my mouth and shivered. The thought I just had was so dirty that I averted my gaze and turned my head. I'd never willingly thought that way about a man before. When I'd been raped all those times in prison, everything was terrifying and forced, but now that I was here—now that I was with Usagi-san…

Things were definitely different.

Usagi-san retreated his hand once he noticed my hesitation and sat down on the edge of the coffee table, placing his cup beside him. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw that he had hunched over, clasped his hands together, and rested his chin on them.

"I'm fine," I whispered. "It's nothing."

"You flinched," he stated. He sounded pained. "I'm scaring you again... I'm sorry."

I slowly met his serious, agonized gaze and shook my head, which seemed odd since I was upside down. Even looking up his nose made me blush. It amazed me how perfect his nostrils were. _No hairs up there…_ "N-No," I said, biting my lip. "It's… it's not that." It was hard not to smack myself for causing him to worry about me.

I didn't like upsetting such a beautiful person.

Creases formed on his forehead. "Misaki, you don't have to lie to me. I'm not like those other men. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"I know that," I grumbled, frowning. He told me enough times throughout the day…

"If you don't want to try—"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, for the love of—just stand up, old man," I commanded. My voice sounded lax.

Usagi-san arched his brow. "What?"

I sighed and motioned for him to get up with my hand. "_Stand up_," I said again. "It's when you get off your ass and stand on those." I reached above my head and poked at his knee.

He looked a little confused, but did as I ordered and spread his hands apart. "What now?"

I pulled my other ear bud out of my ear and placed the iPod on the couch. "Come closer," I urged.

He did so.

"Now," I said again, tossing Suzuki at the far end of the couch. "Bend over." I bet he fantasized about me doing that on a daily basis.

He seemed to be amused, and he even smirked at me as he leaned over and rested his hands on the back of the couch. "What are you up to, Misaki?"

Instead of answering, I thought it'd be best to show rather than tell—since I heard Aikawa reprimanding him about that in his manuscript once—so I yanked at his belt. He gasped a little at my boldness, but he recovered and brought himself closer to me as I undid the buckle and worked to get his button and zipper open.

I was taking my time, and my hands were trembling.

"You don't have to," he said, peering down at me.

I gave him a dull gaze and paused while I gazed up. "Usagi-san?"

"Hm?"

"Shut up before you ruin the moment," I snapped. "I want this."

He chuckled and shook his head, taking my socks off. "If you're sure." I was _so_ sure.

"W-What the hell are you doing?" I asked as he began massaging my feet. I prayed he wasn't a toe-sucker.

"Relaxing you," he stated. "Your body's tense." It did ease me a little.

This was my first time taking control and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous.

Blood had been rushing to my head for a while now, but I ignored the feeling and focused on my lover's pants, which were now open. He was wearing his blue briefs, my favorite of his underwear choices, and when I gently stroked over the material with my finger, it twitched.

Game on.

"This isn't like you," Usagi-san stated. He had a tent of pink on his cheeks and his hands were doing wonders on my feet.

I shrugged, and tugged at the blue material, pausing. "Do you want me to stop?"

He grunted. "Not a chance."

"Thought so." I looked up at the blue cloth and peeled some of the fabric down with my thumbs before I got some courage and dipped my hand inside.

An instant hitch of breath was heard from Usagi-san, and he involuntarily hunched over so that he was grabbing my ankles and resting his head on the back of the couch. "Misaki," he breathed out.

"C-can I…?" I asked, stroking him slowly. He didn't answer at first, too shocked that I was actually taking control, so I rubbed my thumb over his head, feeling the pre-cum begin to ooze. "Usagi-san—?"

"_Please_," he begged in a raspy voice.

It took me a few seconds to pull his member out, but this time my hands weren't shaking. Confidence was building within me, and I welcomed the feeling.

As I guided him into my mouth, he placed both of his lower legs on either side of my face, resting on the couch. He didn't completely sit down, though, probably out of fear that I couldn't take him fully, so I lifted my head off the couch and gave his tip a testing, curious lick with a flick of my tongue.

I felt proud of myself when I heard a sensual, frustrated groan escape his lips, and I bravely began devouring his length, bobbing my head up and down in a steady rhythm.

I knew what I was doing.

When he made a 'tch' noise and dropped his head, I got a clear view of his perfect, flustered features. "Misaki," he panted. He looked so flustered and gorgeous…

My reply of saying his name was muffled into a slurping moan since I was a bit occupied.

The vibrations of my answer caused him to push further into me with a hiss of pleasure. The sound almost made me forget that his calloused hands were trailing down my legs and brushing over my thighs—_almost_.

I realized that all the times I'd been forced to do this in prison had paid off in the long run, because as big as he was, I wasn't suffocating. I was breathing through my nose, loving the feel of him while I kept my pace and increased my suction on his warm length.

I was enjoying myself.

As I did this, I began tugging at the waist area of his shirt. He understood and immediately peeled it off his body, tossing it onto the floor. I stopped sucking momentarily, letting his member pop out of my mouth while I began stroking it again. Some of his fluids were dripping from my mouth and I knew that if he leaked this much, his release was going to be huge.

"Do you want to stop?" he asked. The look on his face told me he didn't.

Neither did I…

I paused my hand movements and gave him a serious look. "Usagi-san?"

"Hm?"

"Fuck my face," was my blasé reply.

When I dropped my head back on the couch, he paused and gave me a stunned look. I lifted both brows in an impatient manner to show him that I wasn't kidding and that patience wasn't a virtue of mine.

After he got over his initial shock, he obliged and lowered himself back into my mouth.

He moaned out my name while he started grinding into my mouth, and I felt him all the way at the back of my throat. There was no way to breathe out of my lungs because my air pipes had been cut off due to his vigorous, sensual movements, and tears had started to form in the corner of my eyes.

A harsh slurping sound was echoing throughout the penthouse amongst our erotic moans, and despite the fact that I was suffocating, I was so turned on that my hands started to trail under my shirt.

I teased at my nipples while my body pressed down further into in the couch with each firm grind Usagi-san performed in my mouth. I'd wanted to whisper his name, but it came out as a gurgling noise against his erection.

He swore. "Misaki," he murmured, quickening his speed. I closed my eyes and touched myself more, feeling him tense in me.

I knew he was close.

Slowly, my right hand made its way to my pants, while my left still focused on my nipples. I imagined his hands in place of mine, and I let out a frustrated groan at the thought.

I needed him to touch me…

The other fantasy I had of him coming in my mouth was put on pause when he abruptly pulled out of me and climbed off me.

I furrowed my brows and opened my eyes, breathing ragged breaths as I heard retreating footsteps. "U-Usagi-san…?" I looked over my head to see that he was sitting on the other couch, getting off while he watched me. There was a playful smirk on his flawless lips.

"Keep going," he urged me. "I want to see you."

My face reddened and I closed my eyes, embarrassed. "Usagi-san…," I whined.

"Look at me," he commanded in that sultry voice. "Right at me…"

I opened my eyes, but they were lidded—as if he'd put me in a trance. I started to speak, but gasped when I felt myself touching my most sacred of areas. I pulled my throbbing erection out and began to palm it, envisioning Usagi-san's hands on me.

My mouth was slightly parted while I held his lustful gaze and watched him lick his lips. I held back a few moans by biting at my bottom lip when I noticed we were both stroking ourselves at the same speed.

In truth, I just wanted him to get back over here and fuck me, but if he wanted a show, I'd give him one. I aimed to please today, for once.

"Shit," I whispered, forcing myself to sit in an upright position. We both picked up some speed once I had, and leaned back against our respective couches. I began raising my hips occasionally when I started palming faster.

"Misaki," he murmured, never breaking eye contacting. "W-were you… doing it yourself while… while I was away?" He was close again.

I scoffed as best as I could, knowing that I wouldn't last much longer either. "S-so—so what if I was—? God…" I bit back a moan and he shook his head. "I'm c-close… Usagi-san—"

"I want to hear you," he whispered.

"U-Usagi-san," I groaned. I was on the edge. I could feel it.

"I can't… hear you, Misaki," he teased in ragged breaths.

"Oh fuck," I murmured, giving myself harsher strokes.

Usagi-san noticed and spread his legs further apart. "That's it Misaki…" He was going at himself like a boss.

"Shit." The sight of him going that fast was enough to make me close my eyes and throw my head back. "Usagi-san, I'm—"

"It's… okay," he assured me. "Misaki—Tch!" A high grunt escaped him, and I heard his beautiful grunt as he was sent over the depths of pulsating release, all the while moaning my name. I joined him shortly afterwards, feeling myself ooze all over my hand and jeans, but as I sat there waiting to climb down from my high, I couldn't bring it in myself to look at him.

I may have been experienced, but I was also just as embarrassed.

"Misaki," my reason for being called me softly. Shit… Why'd he have to say it like that? It was making my boner come back, more painful than the last time.

I caught my breath and dropped my hand to my side, refusing to open my eyes. "We should clean up," I whispered, sounding reclusive again. It was best to pretend that I wasn't nervous right now. I didn't like him seeing my vulnerable side.

"It's alright," he said. He sounded closer this time. "Misaki… Misaki, please look at me. Don't be embarrassed. It's only me."

"I'm embarrassed _because_ it's you," I grumbled, covering my face with my forearm.

Before I could process anything, moist walls engulfed my soiled member.

The surprise made me latch onto the head of the intruder and I jerked my own head down, eyes widening at the sight before me.

I tightened my grip on his silver strands and contained my pleasured gasps. "U-Usagi-san—ah!" Well, most of them… "W-What are you _doing_?!"

I could've smacked myself. I knew damn well what he was doing. Usagi-san was… well, he was performing a miracle. Yeah, a beautiful, orgasmic miracle.

He looked up at me as he bobbed his head up and down, keeping up his lustful stare. I squirmed underneath him, cheeks flushing at the scene.

Even when he sucked cock he looked perfect.

When his suction became too much, I patted his head with twitching fingers. "Ah—" I bit my bottom lip for a moment. "Usagi-san… I—move your mouth!"

He ignored me and kept up his vigorous pace. Again, I patted his head, but after he wouldn't listen I hunched forward, groaning as I repeatedly patted his shoulder. The slurping sounds had me on edge again. "Usagi-san, I… I'm… Usagi-san—"

I exploded into his mouth and he ate every drop. When he was done, he lifted his head and licked his lips, collecting any excess fluids that lingered around his mouth. "That was fast," he stated, standing to his feet.

I gaped at him and he chuckled, extending his hand. "I'm only teasing, Misaki," he assured me softly.

I scoffed and stood, not bothering to accept his hand—or covering up my soiled form—as I walked towards the stairs.

When I got there, I took off my shirt and wiped at my jeans because it just felt icky to leave the cold, sticky mess there. I wished Usagi-san could've cleaned me up the first time too.

As he approached, I threw my used shirt at him. He halted and peered down at himself, scoffing while he wiped himself down. "You really surprised me today," he admitted. "This isn't like you." He discarded the shirt on the floor and looked at me, never approaching though.

I gave him a simple glance and shrugged indifferently. "It's my turn to lead," I stated. Even though I was glaring, I was sure that my red cheeks gave away how scared I was.

He gave me a weary smile. "Don't act solicitous on my behalf," he said. "You've done enough today. You don't have to—"

"But I _want _to," I blurted out, turning from him when I realized what I said.

I released a heavy sigh and sat down on the bottom step while he walked over to me and knelt. "Misaki—"

"I want to be…" I started to say, whispering. _Intimate with you…_"I like doing this." I met his gaze. "I know sometimes I look terrified, but that doesn't mean I want to stop anymore…" I was tired of stopping.

He reached for my face and stroked my cheek with his thumb. "What brought this about?"

I lowered my gaze, feeling my eyes water. "I just don't want to be afraid anymore… I can't let what happened to me affect what we have now, because it's different—_you're _different..." I rubbed the back of my neck and shrugged. "I mean, I didn't love those men like I do you. Rape isn't love and—Usagi-san…?"

He had quieted and started to flush a bright shade of red.

"Usagi-san…?" I tugged on his sleeve like a child would if they saw their parent on the phone. "Hey, are you listening—mmm…!"

I was cut off by a tongue pushing past my lips and probing my mouth as if it'd been starved. The way he swirled it felt so right, so hungry and inviting. It entranced me and when I finally started to entwine mine with his, he sighed softly against my lips and pulled away just enough that they remained brushing against mine.

The heat had flooded the room again.

"You realize that what you said was an indirect 'I love you,' don't you?" he asked in a tender voice. _You beautiful idiot. Of course I do._

I flushed and timidly kissed him again—just a soft peck before nodding and keeping our gazes locked. "So…?" I murmured.

He smiled, and it was so unlike him. It wasn't a smirk, nothing mischievous, just genuine, and raw, and peaceful… I could get lost in that smile—sorry, got a little bit carried away—a little cheesy too... See what he does to me?

"Why do you do that?" I asked, pouting at him. He chuckled and cupped my face in his hand. I practically purred.

"Do what, Misaki?" he questioned. There was mirth in his voice.

"You make me feel all… all _weird_," I admitted. "Like a fan girl. It's embarrassing—quit looking at me like that!"

He laughed again, a light laugh as he brushed his nose against mine. "I know why you feel that way, Misaki." He sounded like a little kid, just like the ones that sang 'I know something you don't.' It was adorable.

I scoffed. "Share your theories 'o wise one," I said in a bland voice, giving him my signature dull stare.

"It's because you love me," he stated smugly.

Part of me wanted to smack that smirk off his face, but the other part of me wanted to fuck his brains out. Oh God, what to do…? What to do…? The latter was making me more and more aroused, then again smacking him turned me on, too… sweet fucking Jesus—and see, he just made me think something vulgar with the Lord's name in it.

Hate the sin, not the sinner.

"Let's go upstairs," I whispered, losing courage. I was becoming vulnerable again, and I'm sure he noticed.

He frowned and brushed my bangs out of my eyes. "Misaki—"

"We're not finished," I hissed, feeling the pain of my exposed arousal begin to bulge again.

He placed chaste kisses on my lips and trailed them to my ear. "But you're out of your comfort zone."

I turned, looking him right in the eyes. "But I'm willing," I stated. For once…

We stared each other down, daring the other to move. He gave me a calculating gaze the entire time. I'm one-hundred percent sure he thought I was bluffing, since I'd spent the better part of a year refusing to be touched.

Time ticked by, but we didn't move. I knew it was because he could see right through me, how terrified I was to be doing this, but as much as it frightened me, I still wanted to do it. I loved him, and he loved me.

It was time to take the next step.

I mean, I was willing today. Sucking his cock earlier was proof of that.

In all realness, we probably sat there for about fifteen seconds, but they were _torture_. I thought my balls were going to explode right there.

And then my other me began to speak, the Misaki I developed in prison—the Misaki that took shit from no one. I arched my brow at him and smirked as I stood. "Even when I admit that I'm willing, you _still_ won't sleep with me." I pretended to sigh and began walking upstairs. "You worry about me too much, old man—whoa!"

He had scooped me up and flipped me over his shoulder. "You said you were no longer leading," he stated.

I rolled my eyes as I dangled over his tall frame. His skin felt so soft that I couldn't help but trail my fingers up and down his back while he carried me to his—I mean, _our _room. "I say a lot of things," I stated laxly. "Right now I'm saying fuck me."_ Fuck me senseless._

"No," he disagreed, patting my thighs. He looked over his shoulder and smirked. "I'm going to make love to you."

My eyes darted to the floor, too embarrassed to look at him. He wanted to make love… to _me_? But that seemed too intimate for him to want to do with _me_, even though he loved me. I was—well, I was…

I was used.

The wind was knocked out me when he tossed me on the bed and went to close the door. I hadn't even realized we entered his—_our_ room. It was dark, but not so dark that I couldn't see his loving, violet eyes staring at me as he approached. He took his time, strutting towards me like a male model—like he knew how sexy he was—and easily shuffled out of his jeans and briefs.

The man before me was so perfectly sculpted that I couldn't help but stare. All of his muscles were well carved, not to the point that he looked like a muscle head, but just enough to compliment him—although his manhood was compliment enough.

When I glanced up at the ceiling, I began silently thanking God for giving me one of his most beautiful creations.

I tried to control my breathing when Usagi-san grabbed the hem of my pants and underwear, pulling at them gently. I lifted my hips as he moved the material down my legs and tossed them on the floor.

"There," he said, taking in my slender form as he hovered over me. "Now I can see every inch of you."

"Like what you see?" I asked, pretending to be indifferent. Part of me was panicking and hoping that he wouldn't tease me. I'd never been fully exposed in front of him before and I'm sure my body didn't look like his.

Instead of answering, he took my hand and kissed the knuckles. Our eyes never broke contact.

I saw the light flush of his cheeks when he placed my hand on his chest and I felt his heart pounding. "Very much," he finally answered.

My lips parted, but nothing came out. Eventually I made a 'tch' sound and looked away. "It's just a body," I muttered.

Usagi-san forced me to look at him and connected our lips again. "It's because it's _your _body that I feel this way," he murmured against my lips. To prove his point, his heart began to pound harder. "See what you do to me?"

If my face could get any redder…

"Ah… Usagi-san," I gasped. He had started attacking my neck, lapping at it as if he hadn't eaten in days.

"I'm going to mark you," he said in a husky voice, licking the sensitive area.

I nodded and shivered when his right hand raked down my chest. "Mark away," I encouraged, touching his shoulder. I squeezed it when I felt teeth nip at me.

"Sorry," he whispered. "I'm getting ahead of myself."

"Well," I said, propping myself up on my forearms. "Get ahead of yourself again, because I liked it."

He chuckled against my neck and obliged, nipping at my skin. I was sure it was already red, and perhaps even purple by now. It stung a little too. I couldn't stop the pleasure filled tremble that my body made when he kissed that territorial spot.

"Don't ever change, Misaki." He moved towards my lips again, and we shared a heated kiss. The way our tongues moved wasn't rushed, like last time. We were taking this slow. We were making progress.

Progression was key here.

I relaxed as his lips left mine and his hands roamed every inch of my body. He made sure amidst his touching and lingering pecks on my skin that he didn't touch my erection, which was standing at attention ever since I thought those erotic fantasies downstairs.

He'd made it all the way down to my toes and lifted my ankle, kissing it as he sat on his knees and lower legs. "How do you want to be prepared?" he asked. His breath on my skin felt amazing.

I felt flustered. "Y-you're asking _me_?"

"This is your first time with me," he stated, using his free hand to brush the tips of his fingers down my thigh. "I want you to decide. I want you to be comfortable, Misaki." Comfortable…

Somehow, I figured I wouldn't get asked that question if we were in an alternate universe.

"I…" I felt myself begin to tear up and I started to shake my head.

Usagi-san immediately leaned forward so that he was hovering over me again and he cradled my face in his soft callouses. "Misaki," he whispered and I squeezed my eyes shut. "Please look at me." I gave him no answer and I felt water running down my eyes.

My walls had crumbled.

He was placing sweet pecks on my eyes while he murmured how much he loved me, how much he'd never hurt me. "Talk to me," he pleaded, kissing my tears away. "Tell me what's wrong…" His voice sounded strained.

"No one's—" I sniffled. "No one's ever asked me that before…"

It was silent for a while, and I peeked one eye open before opening both.

Usagi-san looked so many things: Hurt, apologetic, but above all he looked pissed. "_No one_?" he asked.

I slowly shook my head. "No one…"

His Adam's apple moved up as he swallowed the spit in his mouth and reached for the night stand. He opened the drawer and moved some things around while I laid there and waited patiently. When he was finished, he grabbed a bottle of lube and placed it in my hand.

"It's your decision, Misaki," he stated firmly, making sure that I knew I had control over the situation. "It's _your_ body. You decide."

Why was he all mine? Was there a catch…?

He waited over me while I examined the bottle with hesitation. Did I want to do it myself, or did I want him to do it? To prepare or not to prepare, that is the question.

Leave it to me to make a joke about a suicidal monologue…

I found myself smiling at the thought as I sat up. Usagi-san moved to accommodate my movements and he sat in front of me with his hand on my thigh, rubbing soothing circles on it.

I opened the bottle and took his hand, pouring some liquid in it. "Prepare me," I whispered.

A small smile formed on his face when he leaned forward to press his lips against mine again. I enjoyed it, and laid back down when he guided me. "Relax," he said.

"I already know it's gonna sting like a bitch," I assured him, placing the bottle beside me. "Just prepare me so that it'll sting like a bitch in heat." At least then I'd be too pleasured for it to hurt _that_ much.

He chuckled and began pumping me with his other hand. "Don't rush things," he chided, although he was still smiling. I loved knowing that he reserved that smile only for me.

I lifted my hips to match his pace after a while, loving the feel of what his hands were doing to my erection. I was enjoying the moment so much that I closed my eyes, but they shot open when I felt a very familiar, wet finger touch my most sacred of orifices and my hips rose further up. The sensation of him circling me and pumping me at the same time made me feel like jelly.

"Usagi-san," I moaned, gazing at him.

He said nothing and one of his fingers began to intrude into my being. I released a barely audible gasp as I felt him push the digit in and out, exploring me up to the knuckle, trying my best to stop clenching whenever he did. Eventually, the intrusion emotion turned into arousal.

"That feels nice…" I admitted, closing my eyes again.

I think I was purring—no, I was_ sure_ that I was especially when I felt his warm mouth on my member again. It seemed like he loved to surprise me when my eyes were closed.

_Next time, we are _so_ doing this while I'm blindfolded._

I involuntary flinched when I felt his next digit enter me, and he stopped all movement. He rested his head on my thigh, looking up at me with those beautiful eyes. "Relax," he whispered murmuring it into my skin. He kissed me there softly. "Relax."

"I'm trying," I stated.

He scooted up my body, ignoring my swollen problem, and lay beside me with our foreheads touching. His fingers never left from inside me, and as we stared, he began to move them again.

My lips parted and when I tried to look away, he held me in his arms, rubbing comforting fingers on my back. "I love you," he assured me, scissoring me while I bit my lip to contain my gasp. "I'd never hurt you."

I responded by hugging him and waiting for the pain to fade.

After a few more movements, a sudden wave of pleasure hit me. "Ah!" I gasped out. Yep, he'd hit it. He'd hit the mark.

"Are you enjoying this now?" he asked, hitting my prostate again.

I flushed and nodded hurriedly. "Y-yeah…" I reached down and grabbed his hand, urging him to move faster. "Don't stop."

As soon as I said this, he pulled his fingers out and shook his index finger back and forth. "Beg me to keep going after this, okay?"

I think I was pouting. By the way he averted his gaze and stifled his chuckle, I was pretty damn sure I was. Sexy Bastard.

As he sat up and positioned my legs on either side of his torso, I waited in anticipation, watching him lube up my favorite part of him.

This was it. This was our next step.

We were moving forward.

I hissed in agony and arched my back when I felt him push the head of his member inside of me. "Fuck," I whispered.

"You look panicked," he stated.

"I _am _panicked," I groaned quickly, gulping. "And this is _not_ fun." I shook my head. The first penetration is _never_ fun… and to top it all off, I had started talking to myself.

Great, I was insane.

"Relax," he encouraged. Easy for him to say. He wasn't taking it up the ass.

"Make the pain go away and I will," I reasoned. It didn't help that he was blessed in both length and width… I poked at his hand that was on my thigh. "Start inching, old man."

He chuckled and did as I commanded. "Well, aren't you a little dictator?" he teased.

I flinched as he pushed more into me, and I raked my hands through my hair in frustration, hoping the stinging in my lower regions would leave soon. "Usagi-san," I murmured, wincing as he pushed more in. "Make it stop—God! _Please_, make it stop!"

"I'm trying," he said, leaning down to place distracting kisses on my body. "Shh," he cooed.

By the time he had pushed all the way into me, I was trembling in discomfort.

Sex was never anything like the movies. Fuck anyone who said it was, unless they were sadistic porn stars.

Usagi-san was hunching over me, with his palms on the bed. "Misaki," he called me softly.

I let out a small hitch of breath when he pulled out and gently eased back in. "Misaki," he said again.

I couldn't respond. It was like someone took a knife and stabbed it up me… Okay, that was a bit dramatic, but it hurt.

But then, after several, gentle thrusts, the pain began to shift into—dare I say—pleasure…?

My brow arched. "Oh…" I moaned, feeling confused by this new revelation.

"Better?" he asked, easily easing in and out of me.

I hummed in approval and felt my body responding as I moved my hips in time with his. "Y-you can…" I swallowed to catch my breath before I started gasping. "Go f-faster."

He picked up his pace and I reached for his arms, digging my nails into them. "Misaki," he said softly.

My lips were parted and I was in too much pleasure to answer him. I squeezed one of his arms to let him know that I was listening.

"Don't let anyone else touch you."

Those words were enough to get my body moving, and I slowly began moving my hips up to match his thrusts.

"Only you," I moaned in a forced whisper. "Only you…"

He groaned after hearing this and laid his head down on my chest, wrapping his arms underneath me and increasing his thrusts. "I love you," he said into my skin.

As I moved my pelvic area up to meet his, I embraced him, nodding as I felt his soft hair between my fingers. "I love you too… _so_ much, Usagi-san… so much…"

After hearing this he began to pound into me, and I cried out when I felt the back of his sack slamming into my entrance. It amazed me how fast he could go, or how much I was crying out. "Usagi-san—!"

"Say it again," he pleaded during his relentless assault. "Please Misaki…"

I found myself smiling. "U-Usagi-san…" A sudden burst of energy hit me and I wrapped my legs around his waist, flipping us both over.

I was now on top and there was a mischievous lust in my eyes while I placed my hands on his chest, smirking as I lifted myself off him. I stopped once his tip was the only thing left within me and I waited.

I was about to give him the ride of his life—don't ask me why; I just had this spontaneous urge.

I may never get the courage to do this again...

He arched his brow and before he could ask, I slammed myself down on him, feeling more pleasure than pain, and we both let out blissful shouts of ecstasy. I rode him like it'd be our first and last night together, like we'd never see each other again.

He groaned and gave me a lustful gaze, holding my hips as I bounced. "This isn't… like you…"

"I know," I forced out. I leaned forward and licked his lips before he caught my tongue between them and sucked.

When he grunted, I knew he was close, so close to that edge again. It pleased me to know that _I_ was the one doing this to him, that _I_ was the one riding him, making those eyes close in contentment, and making those lips moan in approval.

As I gave him my all, I took both of his hands and connected them with mine while I positioned them on either side of his head. We'd broken our kiss, daring each other to go faster with our frustrated stares and parted mouths that rubbed against each other as we grinded.

"That's it," I encouraged, panting. The key necklace around my neck was bouncing as much as I was. "Ah, God I'm so close..."

"Misaki," he breathed out. He was squeezing my hips so hard that I was sure he'd left imprints.

"I'm about to—"

"Go ahead," he encouraged, pushing me against him to prevent my hips from moving. I was about to ask why he made me stop, but when he gripped my hips tighter and violently thrust into me, I was welcomed with the best orgasm of my life. He continued to slam into me until he exploded inside my body, making my second ecstasy shadow the last one like an echo of pleasure.

We both panted as we came down from our high, and I laid on his chest. I gulped and peered up at him to see that he was smiling softly at me. "That was unlike you," he stated in a raspy voice, swallowing to catch his breath.

"Y-Yeah," I admitted, sighing as I smiled back. "I liked it."

He cocked an eyebrow and gave me an amused smirk. "Oh did you? Can I expect more of this in the future?"

I scoffed and yawned. "Maybe… if I'm willing." I traced my finger over his arms absently for quite some time, loving how soft his skin felt.

"Usagi-san," I said after a while. "Tomorrow can we—?" I stopped speaking when I looked to see that he was asleep.

I rolled my eyes and smirked. "Idiot," I murmured. I covered us with the blanket, too tired to clean us up. "I love you," I admitted as I went to sleep.

Just when sleep was about to hit me, I felt him brushing my bangs out of my eyes. "I love you too, Misaki…" he whispered.

Yeah, we'd definitely have to do this again.

...

**A/N:**

What I did here was take some moments of my favorite JR scenes and mesh them into some of the implied moments I wrote for the Fault in Our Stars fanfic, creating a big 'what if' scene. Eh-hm… I'll admit that I was on a bit of something _strong_ when I wrote this. It's not easy for me to write a lemon without my favorite... stuff lol

Again, this was a request from like _months _ago. Don't know if that person is even reading this, but I did say I'd make this, so viola! Feel free to post comments in the review section. I like opinions, who doesn't? It shows me that I'm not talking to myself when I make author's notes lol


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